okay so I've tried about 10 recording programs so far and only one worked. And it was blotchy at that. But i have a video of my demo nonetheless. So here it is, attatched. Also, i need to cut the end off at 16:27. Had some problems stopping it cleanly. Anyone who has Window Movie Maker and doesnt mind taking care of that for me, i'd really appreciate it ^^; I tried DLing it, but.. well, long story short, it didnt work out

Any and all feedback is appreciated!! Don't comment about the 2 menus, i know i need to only have 1. That is only temporary, and i will fix before the next draft. I plan on seriously redo'ing the DS control layout, and then i'll change the buttons in the demo accordingly

Once this draft is improved via feedback, i plan on pitching this to a game company, so be brutal

Lastly, sorry about the blotchiness of the floor when the camera moves.. I'm looking for a better program

Edit: It's here! Here's the link:
http://vimeo.com/13011275
BE SURE TO TURN HD OFF. The quality is bad enough with it off, but it does like 1 fps with hd on

Please comment here for feedback, not on the video. And be completely and totally honest, non-sugar-coated. As well as in the poll

the video's here! check it out

"I've been working on this demo for exactly 2 weeks from today"

This is just wrong And it is first sentence I saw there.

hows that wrong? I started 2 thursdays ago..

2 weeks from today? That says you started today and you worked for 2 weeks, no? Well maybe it is correct, your native language is english But it just looks wierd to me.

alright here are my thoughts:
its basically a custom map in SC2, im right yes, can you call that an "own" game?
you apologize too much for the models, be more comfident for what you created.

probably work for the summer holidays on this b4 releasing a new video

i started (joined vimeo) today. I started the demo 2 weeks ago xD the video site has nothing to do with the program. Just used to upload the video

And yes schlumpfi, it's made in the galaxy editor, but that doesnt mean it's for starcraft 2. For example, people have made metal slug games, side-scrollers, etc, with this mapmaker

I'll work on being more confident First time making a video

So yes as Schlumpfi said, do not apologize so much Do it at the begining, that is enough.

You want to sell this, you need something unique. What unique you have there is 1. story: Artist in a dream.. But you say you are not a writer and what was in demo is all you have. If that is not true, than dont tell it like that, if it is true, than you dont have much there.
Second unique thing might be the drawings. Explain what you mean by that in more detail. I have no idea now. I guess DS has touchscreen (never seen it in person), so you want to use that probably.

Everything else is just basic game stuff, dont focus on that. I would remove the boss fight entirely.

lol

Yes, the DS (and upcoming 3DS) have touchscreens, which is why its for that. I will probably aim for 3ds

care to elaborate?..